Family Time Isn't Fun
by DoubleDigits
Summary: What happens when the Cahill families are forced to live together? HUMOR / DRAMA / ROMANCE / FAMILY. Ian/Amy, Dan/Natalie, Hamilton/Sinead, Jonah/Nellie. Will be better than the summary. K plus.


**Chapter One**

_The Mysterious Man_

* * *

"What've we got?"

"Um, not much to report besides the usual argument about Prada and hamburgers."

"Anything else?"

"Uh, yeah. Two- whoop, make that three fist fights. One's just started." The person who spoke sighed and continued to type.

"In a whole month?" his co-worker asked.

"No. In a whole hour."

"Hour?!" The co-worker's eyes widened. "It's getting urgent!"

"What should we do?" the first one asked, eyes even wider.

The co-worker face-palmed. "What do you think?!

"We need to call the Madrigals."

* * *

Amy Cahill made her way home, humming pleasantly. School had just ended, and Amy had waved her friends goodbye. They were all going somewhere for the summer: Bangkok, Thailand; Honolulu, Hawaii; Manhattan, New York; Tallahassee, Florida; Juneau, Alaska; Tianjin, China etcetera. But Amy was just staying here, in little Attleboro with her au-pair, annoying brother, and shy great-uncle.

Amy didn't mind. She loved her family, and she'd traveled the world to see enough that it made her want to stay home for the rest of her life: Paris, France; Vienna, Austria; Tokoyo, Japan; Egypt; Russia; Sydney, Australia; South Africa; Madagascar; the Caribbean; Jamaica; the Bahamas (or what Dan liked to call, the _Break_-hamas); London, England; and even _Mount Everest!_

She could bet that her friends hadn't even been to one-forth of the places she had, or seen or did the things she had to. So, to conclude, Amy wasn't jealous. She felt a small pity to her friends, they were going to see a few things that they probably wouldn't want to even know about—except, who didn't know about gun shootings? Amy had been through that before, and she was done with it all!

Amy remembered her friend Alice talking about her new boyfriend and his cuteness. But compared to the people—or the person, to be specific—she had seen, he wasn't that cute. He wasn't even _pretty_. His name was Evan Tolliver, and he was a complete and utter dork.

Now Amy felt a pang of jealousy. Every sophomore girl had a boyfriend. Well, technically, Amy should've been a freshmen—she was smart and skipped a grade. Anyway, Amy was practically the only girl in the school who wasn't snuggling up to a handsome boy, or sharing endless kisses.

No, only one boy had ever appealed to her. And he'd broken her heart. So, Amy didn't even have a crush on anyone anymore. Even the loners, without love partners, had crushes!

_Great, just great, _Amy thought as she got lost in a dark alley. "Where the heck am I?" she muttered, then cursed as she tripped.

"Amy Cahill," a voice rang out.

Amy jumped. "W-who are y-you? What d-do you w-want? H-how do you k-know me?" Another reason for no boyfriend; the stutter.

A cloaked figure approached. "Remains to be seen."

A scream built up in Amy's throat, but before she could let it go loose and wild, her mouth was gagged and her arms and legs were tied. Amy was dragged away into the darkness. . . .

* * *

Dan Cahill was never a fan of vans. He preferred monster trucks, or just something else, something way cooler than a van. But when he was shoved into one, he didn't want to get out when the time came for them to be shoved out.

His older sister Amy was next to him, struggling against her bindings.

Dan didn't know how he- they got into this.

One moment he was waving Arnold and Ronald Orthus goodbye, the next he was shoved roughly into a van crowded with people that he knew and despised. Well, at least, he presumed it was those people he knew. He was blindfolded, but he could remember all those voices. After all, his memory was supposed to be pretty awesome.

Next to Amy—which Dan found _really_ too coincidental—_not!—_his cousin Ian Kabra growled, "Argh!"

"It's useless," Alistair Oh said from the corner. "Do not waste your energy."

"I demand that you let me go!" Natalie Kabra, Ian's sister, shouted. "This dress was tailor-made and not very cheap, mind you!"

Dan rolled his eyes behind the blindfold and groaned, "What a big baby." He mimicked, "_This crappy dress was tailor-made and not very cheap, mind you!_" He wasn't really sure if the dress was crappy or not—like he already said, he was blindfolded, freaking _blindfolded_!

"When we're out Daniel, I swear I'll kill you!" Natalie threatened.

"No kill," a voice called. "You make worse then for selves then."

"Um, hello, can I speak to someone English, and not a complete and utter _dimwit_?" Natalie snarled.

"I is smarter than you. I is high class, below branch leader, fifth in line to lead," the man snarled back. "Now shush! Be good."

Reagan growled. "Stop this van right now or else!"

To their ultimate surprise, the van stopped. "Oh..." Reagan said. "Now, I demand you to open the door." The door was opened.

"Wow, Reg, how'd you do that?" Nellie asked.

"Now take off our blindfolds and let us leave!" Reagan commanded, ignoring Nellie.

The blindfolds were taken off, their arms and legs were untied, but they were shoved outside.

"Where are we?" asked Amy in wonder. The sunlight felt lovely on her un-tanned, pale skin.

"I don't know, love," smirked Ian with his darker skin. "Where do you suppose we are, love? You are, after all, supposed to be a _Madrigal_ genius."

Amy frowned. "W-will you e-ever stop c-c-calling me l-l-love?!" she demanded. "And w-what's it to y-you if I'm a M-madrigal?

"R-right w-when y-you s-s-stop s-stutt-stuttering, I'll s-stop c-calling you love," Ian mocked.

"D-don't be such a jerk," Amy said, quietly but firmly.

"Yes. No jerk. Family. Friends. Love-y-dove-y. Mission," the man said, abruptly.

Ian growled, Amy blushed, the rest of the family didn't react much.

Amy looked around at everyone who was there. Dan, Ian—unfortunately—, Natalie, Hamilton, Sinead, Reagan, Ned, Ted, Madison, Jonah, Alistair, Fiske, Nellie, Eisenhower, Mary-Todd, and Phoenix. And... no way.

"Aunt Beatrice?!" demanded Amy.

The old hag scowled at her. "Amy, Dan. What an _unpleasant_ surprise. Not that I expect more from filthy, scoundrel Cahills," she harrumphed. Cries of protest followed.

"You're a Cahill, too!" Hamilton said.

"True. But I'm not as deranged all of you. Especially"-she pointed to Amy and Dan-"you two." She went close to their faces and snarled, "Right after this, you'll be in Social Services, maybe even jail considering the damage you've done to the world. I don't care if my _scumbag_ brother or your even more _scumbag_ baby-sitter has taken guardianship of you."

"You're spitting on us," Dan said defiantly. "And it's _au pair_!"

Aunt Beatrice whispered, "I wonder how much money I'd be rewarded if- when I hand you to the police. And I wonder how they treat children criminals. . . ." With that, she chuckled and hurried along behind the man who kidnapped them.

"You were never one to wonder, Beatrice," scowled Fiske.

"Wicked Witch of the _World,"_ muttered Dan.

Even though she had said those words quietly, every Cahill member present heard Aunt Beatrice's threat. They stared at the children. The Cahill family hadn't expected their lives to be _that_ cruel, even if everyone knew Grace's evil sister was... well, evil. Amy glanced at Dan and placed a loving hand on his shoulder. They didn't want to go to Social Services, or worse, _jail_!

"You okay?" muttered Sinead, drawing closer to Amy. Dan could barely hear them.

"Yeah. Just shaken. T-thanks for asking, S-sinead," whispered Amy.

Dan had to admit, he was shaken as well. Beatrice had that nasty effect on everyone. She was like the evil version of Grace Cahill—and the _ugly_ version, too. Even if the threat was weak and pathetic, Beatrice scared everyone.

Dan had no idea why the kidnappers had taken Aunt Beatrice along with everyone else. She wasn't even family anymore! _Probably to annoy us,_ Dan thought.

"_Are_ you okay?" Ian asked. Dan frowned, hearing Ian ask his sister.

"Y-y-yes," Amy stuttered. Then she stepped away, ignoring him. POINT ONE FOR AMY! cheered Dan. He was serious, utterly, gratefully, internally happy that Amy resisted Ian's so called "_charm_". Charm was another skill of Lucians, but it didn't work this time!

Finally, they stopped in front of a large, beautiful mansion. Dan was awed and slightly sad. The mansion was a similar replica to Grace's... before it burned to the ground.

"We here. Go in," the man commanded. Everyone was shoved in, and the lights clicked on. "Welcome to home for next several weeks."

* * *

_Hi, everyone! You may or may not know me, but I'm Doubledigits, the eternally unlucky and creepy! This is my new fanfiction for 39 Clues! Hope you enjoy._

_Q) Which is better, vanilla or chocolate?_

_Q) What book is your favorite in the 39 Clues?_

_Q) Your favorite couples on 39 Clues?_

_Q) What do you want to happen in the story?_

_-**My Answers**_

_Q) Vanilla_

_Q) Sword Thief_

_Q) Amian or Natan!_

_Q) That shall soon be revealed. . . ._


End file.
